The problem is usually not that you do not know “Why do I keep repeating the same patterns?” By the time people start asking this question, they are rarely confused about what keeps happening. They can describe the pattern with painful precision. Different partner, same emotional confusion. Different breakup, same hollow aftermath. Different stage of
Many people who seek psychotherapy struggle with perfectionism and self-criticism, even when they appear successful from the outside. From the outside they appear competent and responsible. They manage demanding careers, maintain relationships, and navigate complicated professional environments. Others may see them as disciplined, capable, and reliable. Internally, however, many of these same individuals live with
Many adults who seek psychotherapy arrive with a confusing complaint. Their lives appear successful. They have careers, relationships, and responsibilities that others admire. Yet internally something feels off. They describe a vague sense of emptiness, emotional distance, or a persistent feeling that something essential is missing. Often the roots of this experience lie in a
If you and your partner keep having the same fight, feel fundamentally misunderstood, or wonder why you can’t seem to break destructive patterns, you’re not alone—and you’re not failing. What looks like a communication problem often runs much deeper. Here’s how psychodynamic couples therapy can help. This past fall, I had the opportunity to attend
The past few years have left many of us feeling fundamentally unsettled. Between the global pandemic, political upheaval, and economic volatility, a sense of unease has become our backdrop. Whether it’s lingering COVID concerns, troubling news cycles, or financial pressures, our basic sense of safety feels constantly under threat. This pervasive anxiety isn’t simply “stress”
Relational Psychodynamic Therapy in Oakland: Beyond the Couch, Into Connection Maybe you’ve heard the stereotype. In therapy, you lie on a couch. The therapist stays silent. You talk, they nod, and that’s… therapy? That image—cold, distant, outdated—is still floating around. And it turns a lot of people off, especially those looking for a real connection
Humans are, by our very nature, wired for connection, a fact most obvious in our closest relationships. English psychoanalyst and pediatrician Donald W. Winnicott (1975) once (in)famously quipped “there is no such thing as a baby…If you show me a baby you certainly show me also someone caring for the baby.” This is, of course,
Isaac Ray, a prominent 19th-century American psychiatrist and one of the founders of forensic psychology, observed, “Insanity was the price we pay for civilization.” This insight reminds us that societal progress, while necessary, often comes with emotional and psychological costs. Every civilization defines “normal” and “abnormal” according to its own cultural values, frequently pathologizing behaviors
Why Do We Blame Ourselves? The Impact of the “Dead Mother” and Early Caregiver Dynamics In the realm of psychodynamic therapy, few concepts capture the complexity of human guilt and self-blame as powerfully as André Green’s Dead Mother hypothesis. This idea explores how early emotional unavailability in caregivers can shape our unconscious minds, creating enduring
In 2024, “self-care” is a massive industry. Walk down any magazine aisle and you’ll see front pages advertising self-care tips. Dip your toe into the wellness world and influencers will tell you about their latest self-care routine. Whether you hear about it from morning show hosts or podcasters, in our modern moment self-care has